omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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