Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
