please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
