Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
