Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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