dude i'm inner monologue high
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
