Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
