The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
