I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
