I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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