I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
