I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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