Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
