just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
