dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
