am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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