Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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