It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize