why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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