I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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