just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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