How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
