You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
