you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
even my farts smell like vagina
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
