I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize