i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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