Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
