dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
