it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
