Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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