I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do herpes really smell.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
