Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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