Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
