Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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