I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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