The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
