I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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