Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
