dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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