I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
