I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
