My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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