Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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