omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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