i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
vagina is talking i cant
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
