He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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