I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
