I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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