someone get that fucking seahorse.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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