Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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