Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
