my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
