i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
