oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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