she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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