you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
