So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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