next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
