i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
whose parrot is this?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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