Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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