What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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