you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
