she was so not down for the gang bang
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
