Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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