If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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